Toilet Attendant Gifts

"Where's your manners? Lift your feet"

Good - Evil.

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

"Wipe, sir?"

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

"Would you like some wings?"

Fight or Flight

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

The World Wide Web.

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

The World's Easiest Airport

Child on an airplane wearing a shirt with a switch that says "Airplane mode"

'Stop pulling that silly face, Dear.'

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

A private jet takes off

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

Employee of the Month Parking

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

'Flight simulator'

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

Vaccination Passport

'I feel like my ears are about to pop.'

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

'I dont know about you, but I've got the feeling we're in for long flight delays...'

Airplane food

"Folks, if you look out of your window at those clouds below, you'll have a nice view of the Grateful Dead dancing bears."

"I always send a layover selfie back home, to let everyone know I'm safe."