Tee-time Attendant Gifts

'This course is a great ego builder.'

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

Golf lessons

The Amateur Golfer

'He lived and died for golf.'

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

'The brown one that smells like an old man.'

Club House. An eighty dollar green fee! -- I haven't even teed-off yet and I'm already in the hole!

"Can I play with your ball, Mister, if you're not using it?"

'You had a 9 on one, a 7 on two, a 10 on three, a 23 on four...that hurt...'

'This has to be the longest course I've ever played!' (Sign with Gas/Food/Lodging Next Tee)

Golfers lost on the road

'You're away, Doc!'

Old man plays golf, supported by his caddy and paramedic.

Golf

'Whenever Ralph finds a golf ball he puts it in the basement.'

A man holding a golf club eying up his shot

'Did you see a ball come this way?'

Welcome to Fairway...The town with 536 holes of golf!

There Are More Things To Life Than Golf...But I Ignore Them. There are more things to life than golf...but I ignore them.

'So if it goes to the right it's a slice, to the left it's a hook...and down the center.'

Golf - "Are you new to the game?"

Golfer couple just married

"I'm guessing this is the first time Jack's had a chance to make par?"

"Yes, you can see the chairman this afternoon - have you ever done any caddying before?"

"Fore!"

'I need a continuance, your Honor.'

'Gentlemen, today's meeting will be short, so I'll get right to the point.'

'See this advert? lost.. one little white ball!'

'That's quite an offset on your driver. Is that a new design?' 'No, it's an old design from beating it into the ground after years of lousy drives.'

A Golfers In and Out Tray

'I am being in the moment. Just not this particular moment.'

"Where's your manners? Lift your feet"

"Did you remember to tip the doorman?"