Tee-time Attendant Gifts

'This course is a great ego builder.'

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

Golf lessons

The Amateur Golfer

'He lived and died for golf.'

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

'The brown one that smells like an old man.'

"Can I play with your ball, Mister, if you're not using it?"

'You had a 9 on one, a 7 on two, a 10 on three, a 23 on four...that hurt...'

'This has to be the longest course I've ever played!' (Sign with Gas/Food/Lodging Next Tee)

Old man plays golf, supported by his caddy and paramedic.

'Whenever Ralph finds a golf ball he puts it in the basement.'

Golfers lost on the road

Golf

'You're away, Doc!'

A man holding a golf club eying up his shot

Welcome to Fairway...The town with 536 holes of golf!

'Did you see a ball come this way?'

There Are More Things To Life Than Golf...But I Ignore Them. There are more things to life than golf...but I ignore them.

'So if it goes to the right it's a slice, to the left it's a hook...and down the center.'

Golfer couple just married

"Yes, you can see the chairman this afternoon - have you ever done any caddying before?"

"I'm guessing this is the first time Jack's had a chance to make par?"

"Fore!"

'I need a continuance, your Honor.'

'Gentlemen, today's meeting will be short, so I'll get right to the point.'

A Golfers In and Out Tray

'I am being in the moment. Just not this particular moment.'

'That's quite an offset on your driver. Is that a new design?' 'No, it's an old design from beating it into the ground after years of lousy drives.'

'See this advert? lost.. one little white ball!'

"Where's your manners? Lift your feet"

Good luck making this shot.