Tee-time Tanist Gifts

'He lived and died for golf.'

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

Golf lessons

"Getting the ball in the hole on the first swing is good isn't it?"

The Amateur Golfer

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

Club House. An eighty dollar green fee! -- I haven't even teed-off yet and I'm already in the hole!

"Can I play with your ball, Mister, if you're not using it?"

"China Ministry of State Security Royal Infiltration Training Unit"

"…And what do you think the cracker might represent?"

'This has to be the longest course I've ever played!' (Sign with Gas/Food/Lodging Next Tee)

Golfers lost on the road

Golf

Colin had finished the 'One Minute Manager' and was now practising the 3467 minute tea break.

Old man plays golf, supported by his caddy and paramedic.

'You're away, Doc!'

'Whenever Ralph finds a golf ball he puts it in the basement.'

'This course is a great ego builder.'

'Did you see a ball come this way?'

'What a divot?'

A man holding a golf club eying up his shot

There Are More Things To Life Than Golf...But I Ignore Them. There are more things to life than golf...but I ignore them.

'So if it goes to the right it's a slice, to the left it's a hook...and down the center.'

Golf - "Are you new to the game?"

'Would you like something from the trolley doctor ? '

Golfer couple just married

"Mind if we play through?"

"With my handicap I can park just about anywhere I want to!"

'You don't have to shout fore when you putt.'

Bull In a china shop

"Yes, you can see the chairman this afternoon - have you ever done any caddying before?"

"Fore!"

"I'm guessing this is the first time Jack's had a chance to make par?"

'I need a continuance, your Honor.'

'Gentlemen, today's meeting will be short, so I'll get right to the point.'