Toilet Seat Technician Gifts

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

Jack of all trades

The Computer Bore

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

Early cyborg.

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

The Not-So Smart Meter

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

Congratulations on your retirement!

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

"And this is one of our most poular models..."

High speed cinder block

STRIP Hambone: Early diesel run computer

Battery Lighthouse

Personal Potty Trainer

Electronics: Nooks/Crannies

'Imagine if it was this simple to upgrade our staff.'

'Warning: Use of oversized apertures or antennas will void warranty,'

'God?' Earth receives its first transmission from space.

Fixing the TV.

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'

'So you still can't get a sound engineer then?'

'But I don't want to be able to turn on the toaster with the TV remote!'

"I've been having stomach problems. I sit on the bathroom for 30 minutes in the morning...and a half-hour in the evening."

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

'The boss said to get rid of all the pirated software before he returns, which will be in about five to ten years.'

SWAT Team (going in to catch a fly).

Early Tech Support

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."

'It just dawned on me that every time we make a phone call, it's a robocall.'

It's a deal. You give me five analysts, three pundits, seven technicians and a soothsayer. I give you six experts, five professors, four consultants and a prognosticator.