Pool Attendant Gifts

"Hey, you doing the backstroke, you've forgotten some thing!"

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

Fight or Flight

The end of summer is near and you still haven't made plans

"Would you like some wings?"

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

Child on an airplane wearing a shirt with a switch that says "Airplane mode"

'Stop pulling that silly face, Dear.'

The World's Easiest Airport

The World Wide Web.

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

'Sure, it's our pool. . . but who's going to tell him that?'

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

A private jet takes off

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

Employee of the Month Parking

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

'I like you, you've got balls.'

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

'Flight simulator'