Supermarket Greeter Gifts

Welcome to Wal-Mart. Comfort food: straight ahead, third row ? then turn right./He was good. Too good.

"Good For You / Bad For You"

But is it organic?

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"We're odd looking but just as good."

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

'Tesco's cheif executive meets with staff.'

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

Only One Item or Fewer.

"I hate it when they put kittens in the impulse buying section."

Price may vary with weather.

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

Attack of the 'health' foods

Low Hanging Fruit

Alphabet soup

Food samples in supermarket - 'There's a stick in mine.'

'I just couldn't think of the word poultry.'

"Sir, surely it's irresponsible to be throwing away so much edible food?"

"...and most of all, thank you for pre-cooked holiday meals from the supermarket!"

"Why is this cart so heavy?"

'It's just a casual job for the summer.'

"This is Piggly Wiggly, what'd you expect?"

'Look! It's Trendy Vineyards' Merlot Window Cleaner! Streak-free cleaning, because it's 50 proof!'

"All these vitamins and nutrients, plus it makes it own sauce! We should be eating this!"

"Sorry, Martin, but because you're the weakest link in our food chain here, you're fired."

'If you want produce grown on the farm down the road you'll have to go to Kuala Lumpur.'

It all began with free-range chicken. Then it was organic vegetables. Next the farmers decided they should all take a year off to go find themselves.

"Arrghh! - I came around the corner and tripped over that sign!"

Woman stuck in frozen aisle.

Checkout for $385.00 or more.