Supermarket Greeter Pillows

Welcome to Wal-Mart. Comfort food: straight ahead, third row ? then turn right./He was good. Too good.

"Good For You / Bad For You"

But is it organic?

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"We're odd looking but just as good."

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

"I hate it when they put kittens in the impulse buying section."

Only One Item or Fewer.

Price may vary with weather.

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

Alphabet soup

Low Hanging Fruit

Attack of the 'health' foods

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

Food samples in supermarket - 'There's a stick in mine.'

'I just couldn't think of the word poultry.'

"Sorry, Martin, but because you're the weakest link in our food chain here, you're fired."

"Sir, surely it's irresponsible to be throwing away so much edible food?"

"This is Piggly Wiggly, what'd you expect?"

"All these vitamins and nutrients, plus it makes it own sauce! We should be eating this!"

"...and most of all, thank you for pre-cooked holiday meals from the supermarket!"

"Why is this cart so heavy?"

'Look! It's Trendy Vineyards' Merlot Window Cleaner! Streak-free cleaning, because it's 50 proof!'

'It's just a casual job for the summer.'

'If you want produce grown on the farm down the road you'll have to go to Kuala Lumpur.'

It all began with free-range chicken. Then it was organic vegetables. Next the farmers decided they should all take a year off to go find themselves.

"Arrghh! - I came around the corner and tripped over that sign!"

Checkout for $385.00 or more.

Woman stuck in frozen aisle.

Shopper sees sign: Buy one get ripped off.