Supermarket Staff Pillows

'I just couldn't think of the word poultry.'

'I can never find the barcode on these things.'

'Next smile please!'

"We can't actually force people to wear a mask but we've asked Maureen to glare at them."

"Elwood Buford, for 17 years affixed permanent price stickers on merchandise for Home Depot."

"This is Piggly Wiggly, what'd you expect?"

Genetically modified broccoli jumping into a trolley.

Miss Fenwick is caught carrying a concealed weapon: a hybrid tomato which, if thrown, is capable of maiming, even killing.

I can carry all the plastic bags I need!

'I'm sorry, Wendy, all redheads are being withdrawn from Customer Services.'

"Left a bit.Now down on the right...no left..."

"If you want all our money in a plastic bag then I have tocharge you for the bag. Do you wish to pay cash or with card?"

"...and most of all, thank you for pre-cooked holiday meals from the supermarket!"

"Good For You / Bad For You"

But is it organic?

Thank you, Essential Workers

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"We're odd looking but just as good."

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

Lioness Shops for Snacks.

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

'Tesco's cheif executive meets with staff.'

Only One Item or Fewer.

Hand sanitizer

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

Price may vary with weather.

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

"Hey, Al! What do you know about shelf life?"

Don't have a hot flush....

Attack of the 'health' foods

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'