Grocery Anecdote Fan Gifts

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

'Do we have any alligator pears?'

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

'Can we get the corn that's already been chewed?!'

'Look, Mum, those loaves have had some babies!'

"I must come to the supermarket with you sometime dear, they seem to sell everything!"

Mouse shopping after hours

"Mummy! Can't we go to Tescos like everyone else?"

"I need one of them and one of them..."

"I know I've matured because I choose to purchase my own candy instead of stealing my children's."

"Why doesn't the budget ax ever fall in the produce department?"

"This banana I bought yesterday, when I peeled it it was empty!"

Little Miss Muffet in Store.

"I'm still trying to get used to ordering food online."

Woman has man in shopping trolley

"After that, our marriage ripened into a divorce."

'We're out of peanut butter.'

"When water turns into ice, which of its physical properties increases?"

'Now let's see...We need fodder...'

10 items or less queue. (Woman has thrown eggs onto floor).

"Bag for life?"

Meats

'Lazy,'

"I always buy toilet paper in bulk. My family shreds through it so quickly."

Grocery store ruins a cart drivers attempt to motivate his horse.