Grocery Story Gadabouts Gifts

"I must come to the supermarket with you sometime dear, they seem to sell everything!"

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

"Woulda looked cool with a beer in his hand, though." Michelangelo's cousin, Michelobelo

Mouse shopping after hours

Low income vampires.

Turns out it's just a shopping list. Milk.

'Satellite TV? You're spoiling that kid.'

No, thank you, I brought my own bag.

"We were already in this room—I remember that hideous Renoir."

Ants take cheese and grater

"I don't see one damn thing we haven't eaten before."

Holds leftovers, easy to carry... Gotta say, he almost had me. Right up to th 'Keeps food fresh' part. What a waste of a good idea.

"Hmmmm...What am I in the mood for?"

'The first dozen ingredients in this cereal are various sugars.'

"After that, our marriage ripened into a divorce."

'Lazy,'

"It's like we're living in a banana republic, only without the bananas."

Market items.

"This accident report must be really old, unless he really was 'attacked by ye wilde boare' in the cold meats aisle."

Hole Foods

Safe Social Distancing - Pirate Treasure Hunt

Your Dinner is in the Supermarket.

'Oh, stop it, George! I hate this part of grocery shopping as much as you do.'

'He's furious. We hung his painting upside down.'

Lemon Harangue Pie Mix

"Look at this painting for thirteen seconds. Squint your eyes meaningfully at the bottom left corner. Then lean forward and look at the little white square, nodding as you stare."

Cartoon of Eggs.

"Do we want the label, too?"

'The rival bus tour company has made threats which we're taking seriously so please keep your helmets on.'

'He got as far as the door before I clobbered him with a salami.'

"I'm bored. Want to block a grocery store aisle with our cart?"

'I knew they had formed a syndicate but didn't know they had won this week's record payout!'