Grocery Shopping Fan Gifts

The only place it's okay to pick your nose.

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

Wonderland Food Mart. Animal Crackers. It says, "Contents: Three bears, three little pigs, one big bad wolf and four and twenty blackbirds."

Produce. Corn on the cob. Corn on the lam.

Little Miss Muffet in Store.

'Look, Mum, those loaves have had some babies!'

'Can we get the corn that's already been chewed?!'

"That reminds me. We need to pick up some miniature cocktail weenies, and a box of raisins."

"Hold it, lady. You're not gonna use me on pizza, are you?"

"I'm still trying to get used to ordering food online."

"Bag for life?"

Domestic Superheroes!!

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

Twenty-first century baby walker

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

Important Food Groups

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

Dad Trophies

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

"Everything's gone up."

Supermarket - World Cup Specials

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

Only One Item or Fewer.

"Wait, what are you doing?"

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

Unusual Offers