Grocery Lover Gifts

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

"Oh, that's a tricky one...now let me think...'Would I like a carrier bag..?' hmm..."

"I wasn't able to get membership in the IPA...so I joined the IGA!"

"You're the lid to my pot."

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

'Do we have any alligator pears?'

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

'Look, Mum, those loaves have had some babies!'

'There was sizzle but no steak.'

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

'Can we get the corn that's already been chewed?!'

Friendly bacteria

'Jingling your change won't get us a better table.'

'I tried those once. They leaked.'

"It all comes down to the aging and fermentation process."

'Are these mushrooms edible?'

'Bananas! Once you've skinned them and removed the bone, there's nothing left.'

'You'll like this. It has no nutritional value at all.'

Kitchen - Sign reads 'Out of Hors D'Oeuvres.'

Le Gourmet Bistro. Paging Mister Zah, paging Mister Zah. Do we have a Pete Zah here?

Mouse shopping after hours

The only place it's okay to pick your nose.

'You order the jumbo combo?'

"Mummy! Can't we go to Tescos like everyone else?"

"Louie 'Three Fingers,' Tony 'The Chin,' Joey Alfonso... Dang it, Vinny, you brought me the hit list instead of the grocery list!"

"I know I've matured because I choose to purchase my own candy instead of stealing my children's."

"Would you like your milk in a bag?"

"Expensive coffee is a cheap vacation."