Grocery Anecdote Fan Pillows

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

'Do we have any alligator pears?'

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

'Can we get the corn that's already been chewed?!'

'Look, Mum, those loaves have had some babies!'

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

"I must come to the supermarket with you sometime dear, they seem to sell everything!"

Mouse shopping after hours

The only place it's okay to pick your nose.

"Mummy! Can't we go to Tescos like everyone else?"

"I know I've matured because I choose to purchase my own candy instead of stealing my children's."

"Why doesn't the budget ax ever fall in the produce department?"

"I need one of them and one of them..."

"This banana I bought yesterday, when I peeled it it was empty!"

Do me a favor - don

"I'm still trying to get used to ordering food online."

Woman has man in shopping trolley

Turns out it's just a shopping list. Milk.

No, thank you, I brought my own bag.

Little Miss Muffet in Store.

"When water turns into ice, which of its physical properties increases?"

"Bag for life?"

"Hold it, lady. You're not gonna use me on pizza, are you?"

"After that, our marriage ripened into a divorce."

Meats

Produce. Corn on the cob. Corn on the lam.

'We're out of peanut butter.'

Market. Last night I spilled broth on my store discount clipping for mustard. There's soup on your Poupon coupon!

'Now let's see...We need fodder...'

10 items or less queue. (Woman has thrown eggs onto floor).

'Lazy,'

'Ugh! I think it's past its sell-by date.'

Grocery store ruins a cart drivers attempt to motivate his horse.