Grape Juice Philosopher Gifts

"i'm trying to remember the type of California white wine but I like, but my mind keeps drawing a blanc."

"Ahh, wine. Grape juice that went on to earn a graduate degree."

The Vineyard

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Pick me! 2002 was a very good year! No! Me! I'm excellent with beef and fish. Desperate House Wines.

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

Red Wine

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

"Your idea is strong. Really strong. But I've gotta ask myself, is it too much espresso for a decaf world?"

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

Wino Appreciation Group

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

"Can you recommend a suitable white wine to drink with my red wine?"

Nothing like that first cup of coffee, eh, Frank?

'You know, this is the 2nd bottle of this I've opened, and I still have no idea what it tastes like.'

"Wine is plant-based food."

Why Rome Fell:'Peel you a grape? Don't you know that the skin is where all the vitamins are?'

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'