Grape Juice Aficionado Gifts

'I handled the truth about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny pretty well, but when I found out that wine is just fermented grape juice...'

Wine Lady

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

A giant glass of red wine

Wine tasting

"Thanks for inventing the god Dionysus. Now the whole country has a reason to drink more wine."

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'

'Now forget that I'm your boss and the CEO. How does my new product idea, Just the Lees, taste?'

"I spent all day looking for this Malbec, not that anybody cares."

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

"To tourists this just looks like a pile of rotten and damaged grapes. But here at Trendy Vineyards, we look at it and see Special Select Reserve."

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

'Okay, you've got a mouthful of minerals, grapefruit, herbs and grass. Is it starting to taste like a sauvignon blanc?'

'Hey, if they can grow in Michigan...'

Schoolboy with lunch box.

'Bruce! 'ow many times must I tell 'ya? Only one wave of the bloomin' terroir flag over the fruit!'

Cover Design for the Savoy (No. 4)

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

"Grapes are my favorite fruit too."

Wine Lovers

"It's an agreeable little wine."

'It's got worse than just the occasional sploosh from a wine box, hasn't it?'

'Okay, so we had a rainy spring. If we can't make these grapes into wine, maybe we can sell them as water balloons.'