Grape Juice Explorer Gifts

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

Low-Energy Drinks

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

Countervailing Clichés.

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

'Coffee must wear you out. They're always sleepy when they drink it.'

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

Wine taster with mineral water

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

'...and one 'death by chocolate', Sir.'

'What's wrong with him?' - 'He drank a glass of water by mistake.'

Wino Appreciation Group

Wine of the Day Club

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

California Beverages Map

Complaints Desk

Pat's Bar, Rotgut Tasting 5-7.

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

'Beer? Wassat then?'

Wine: New & Old!!!

Cafe Momus from La Boheme

"There you go bra. Double flat white and homage to Rothko's Seagram series."

Wine connoisseur in search of new vintage.(Wine)

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

'The brochure says their wines are distinctive. I think I know why.'

"What wine goes well with £5.52p?"

Johnny Appleseed's Dirty Little Secret

"... Wine list? No, we don't have a wine list! Perhaps I can get sir something from the vending machine?"

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

'I wonder if we strike wine again!'

'Hi, I'm Leo. How's the food here?'

'All drinks are double the normal price - it makes me happy.'