Grape Juice Lover Gifts

'Careful! Don't drink this here grape juice they're servin'. I've had three bottles now, and my head's a spinnin'.'

Wine Lady

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

A giant glass of red wine

An Excellent Nose for Wine.

Wine tasting

I never heard of chunky style wine. I couldn't find any seedless grapes.

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

Wino Appreciation Group

"I spent all day looking for this Malbec, not that anybody cares."

"Thanks for inventing the god Dionysus. Now the whole country has a reason to drink more wine."

'Now forget that I'm your boss and the CEO. How does my new product idea, Just the Lees, taste?'

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

"To tourists this just looks like a pile of rotten and damaged grapes. But here at Trendy Vineyards, we look at it and see Special Select Reserve."

Schoolboy with lunch box.

'Bruce! 'ow many times must I tell 'ya? Only one wave of the bloomin' terroir flag over the fruit!'

'Okay, you've got a mouthful of minerals, grapefruit, herbs and grass. Is it starting to taste like a sauvignon blanc?'

Cover Design for the Savoy (No. 4)

'Hey, if they can grow in Michigan...'

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

"Okay then, what wine do you have if we go up to the four-dollar range?"

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

"Grapes are my favorite fruit too."

Wine Lovers

'Okay, so we had a rainy spring. If we can't make these grapes into wine, maybe we can sell them as water balloons.'

"It's an agreeable little wine."