Grape Juice Enthusiast Gifts

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

Wine Lady

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

A giant glass of red wine

Wine tasting

Wino Appreciation Group

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'

"Thanks for inventing the god Dionysus. Now the whole country has a reason to drink more wine."

'Now forget that I'm your boss and the CEO. How does my new product idea, Just the Lees, taste?'

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

"I spent all day looking for this Malbec, not that anybody cares."

"Here's to us, kid—and the healing powers of raw juices."

'Bruce! 'ow many times must I tell 'ya? Only one wave of the bloomin' terroir flag over the fruit!'

A kangaroo mother with a joey in her main pouch and a juice box in a separate smaller pouch.

Schoolboy with lunch box.

"To tourists this just looks like a pile of rotten and damaged grapes. But here at Trendy Vineyards, we look at it and see Special Select Reserve."

'I'm doing like you said and not drinking straight from the carton.'

'Hey, if they can grow in Michigan...'

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

'I could have had a V-8!'

'Okay, you've got a mouthful of minerals, grapefruit, herbs and grass. Is it starting to taste like a sauvignon blanc?'

"Wheatgrass is highly effective at neutralizing joy."

Lemonade Survey

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

Wine Lovers