Grape Juice Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

Wine Lady

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

A giant glass of red wine

An Excellent Nose for Wine.

Wine tasting

"I spent all day looking for this Malbec, not that anybody cares."

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'

Wino Appreciation Group

'Now forget that I'm your boss and the CEO. How does my new product idea, Just the Lees, taste?'

"Thanks for inventing the god Dionysus. Now the whole country has a reason to drink more wine."

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

"Here's to us, kid—and the healing powers of raw juices."

"To tourists this just looks like a pile of rotten and damaged grapes. But here at Trendy Vineyards, we look at it and see Special Select Reserve."

Schoolboy with lunch box.

'I'm doing like you said and not drinking straight from the carton.'

'Bruce! 'ow many times must I tell 'ya? Only one wave of the bloomin' terroir flag over the fruit!'

'Okay, you've got a mouthful of minerals, grapefruit, herbs and grass. Is it starting to taste like a sauvignon blanc?'

'Hey, if they can grow in Michigan...'

'I could have had a V-8!'

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

A kangaroo mother with a joey in her main pouch and a juice box in a separate smaller pouch.

"Wheatgrass is highly effective at neutralizing joy."

Lemonade Survey

"Okay then, what wine do you have if we go up to the four-dollar range?"

"And would you like a wine stopper?"