Grape Juice Aficionado T-Shirts

'I handled the truth about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny pretty well, but when I found out that wine is just fermented grape juice...'

Wine Lady

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

A giant glass of red wine

An Excellent Nose for Wine.

Wine tasting

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

'Now forget that I'm your boss and the CEO. How does my new product idea, Just the Lees, taste?'

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

"Thanks for inventing the god Dionysus. Now the whole country has a reason to drink more wine."

I never heard of chunky style wine. I couldn't find any seedless grapes.

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'

"I spent all day looking for this Malbec, not that anybody cares."

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

"To tourists this just looks like a pile of rotten and damaged grapes. But here at Trendy Vineyards, we look at it and see Special Select Reserve."

'Hey, if they can grow in Michigan...'

Cover Design for the Savoy (No. 4)

'Okay, you've got a mouthful of minerals, grapefruit, herbs and grass. Is it starting to taste like a sauvignon blanc?'

'Bruce! 'ow many times must I tell 'ya? Only one wave of the bloomin' terroir flag over the fruit!'

Schoolboy with lunch box.

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

"Grapes are my favorite fruit too."

"Okay then, what wine do you have if we go up to the four-dollar range?"

"It's an agreeable little wine."

Wine Lovers

'Okay, so we had a rainy spring. If we can't make these grapes into wine, maybe we can sell them as water balloons.'