Fruit Philosopher Gifts

"I know, it's not easy being an avocado - you never feel like you're good enough, then BAM, you're past your prime."

Understanding the prune.

What the Doctor Ordered

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'

View to the Future

The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

Banana Split Personality

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

Tree Passion

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

Large, wrinkly

Newton forgets gravity, discovers delicious apple

'If I order pasta and she orders antipasta, did we really order anything?'

'Don't disturb me - I'm in conference!'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"Prepare to meet your maker."

"Peach fuzz. How does a nectarine know when it reaches puberty?"

'What are you eating now?'

The Gardener's Holiday: Don't leave produce behind you to perish.

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

Conference Pears

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

Apricots

"Hahahaha doctor, I guess I'll see you in a week