Plant Philosopher Gifts

The Garden of European Feelings

Saguaro Cacti.

The ethics professor weeding his garden.

Sowing the Seeds of Doubt - "I've no idea what these are but something will come up."

Bug to bug: 'Do you think there is life on other plants?'

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

"He treated associates like he treated his plants."

"Before invasive species, the only things I could grow were weeds and mildew."

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

Deer against capital punishment about to be shot.

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

The Last Days of a Hydrangea

"Of course working from home is different. . ."

'Whenever he stares out the window like that I know he's about to go into a gardening frenzy.'

The Cactus Reader

Man watering with the 'Theory of Natural selection'.

'It's hard to slice a potato once you've looked it in the eye.'

Grass: We lost some good men today!

Stop and Smell the Roses

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

'It's a clear case of dehydration.'

Dept. de Philosophie

"Why can't they call it a 'Deer' or a 'Squirrel' market?"

"I'm sorry your girlfriend left you, Frank...but you must concentrate on the job!"

'I'm letting it lie fallow this year.'

I lactate, therefore I am.

Les Fleurs Du Mal

'These lousy free-range chickens think that they just own the whole world!'

"Hey. What are you doing to that card?"

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

Nursery - Products That Help Things Grow... Products That Kill Things.