Grape Juice Philosopher T-Shirts

"i'm trying to remember the type of California white wine but I like, but my mind keeps drawing a blanc."

"Ahh, wine. Grape juice that went on to earn a graduate degree."

The Vineyard

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

Red Wine

"Your idea is strong. Really strong. But I've gotta ask myself, is it too much espresso for a decaf world?"

Wino Appreciation Group

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

"Wine is plant-based food."

Nothing like that first cup of coffee, eh, Frank?

'You know, this is the 2nd bottle of this I've opened, and I still have no idea what it tastes like.'

Why Rome Fell:'Peel you a grape? Don't you know that the skin is where all the vitamins are?'

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

Wine: New and Old.