Drinks Philosopher Gifts

'It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...oh, hell, give me another one!'

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

Victoria's pre-marriage questionnaire continues...'Can I get input from the guys at the bar on this one?'

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

'I trust these equations settle the argument, Professor Lang. It's your round.'

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

'The secret to life, my friend, is hoppiness!'

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

Men gossiping

"If it's a series of patterned clicks, I'm not here."

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

ONE HORSE TOWN

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

'Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine... LAST!'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'A quick pint or a quiet drink?'

Brickie's Mate

"You're going to regret this in the morning."

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'