Philosopher Of Life's Cocktails Gifts

"Something life affirming. On the rocks."

A Good Batch.

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

'The secret to life, my friend, is hoppiness!'

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

"I forget to drink."

Buy one beer, get one free. If I may paraphrase a famous quote, "Beer is proof that God has mixed feelings about us and wants us to be hungover."

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

'Well, that's how we mix martinis around here.'

"I was surprised myself, but living apart, seeing other people, and having virtually nothing to do with each other actually has made our marriage stronger."

The Rind of the Ancient Mariner.

'The first cocktail.'

'As soon as I mention Nietzsche - stop serving me, okay.'

My friend here is being FAR too modest! He's not just ANY bartender! Karl's the guy who invented the Fuzzy Navel!'

"Don't worry about the economy, dear. We'll always live large."

Bar Therapy

'It was a lot more congenial when we had happy hour.'

'Listen, if they didn't have alcohol in heaven, it wouldn't be heaven!'

'You're a nihilist, eh? — well, at least you have something to believe in.'

"So, Ben, what do you want to be when you stop sponging off your parents?"

Need Cash for Alcohol Research.

School of hard knocks: Mail box 'Knock-knock jokes'

Caveman turning the wheel into a bar.

''Evening, Bob - the usual?'

"One can only hope this is the raw stuff of art."

I say when life hands you a lemon, make lemonade

"It was very amicable—I gave her everything."