Philosopher Of Life's Cocktails Gifts

"Something life affirming. On the rocks."

A Good Batch.

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

'The secret to life, my friend, is hoppiness!'

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

"I forget to drink."

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

'The first cocktail.'

The Rind of the Ancient Mariner.

"I was surprised myself, but living apart, seeing other people, and having virtually nothing to do with each other actually has made our marriage stronger."

'Well, that's how we mix martinis around here.'

'As soon as I mention Nietzsche - stop serving me, okay.'

"Don't worry about the economy, dear. We'll always live large."

'It was a lot more congenial when we had happy hour.'

'Listen, if they didn't have alcohol in heaven, it wouldn't be heaven!'

Bar Therapy

"So, Ben, what do you want to be when you stop sponging off your parents?"

Need Cash for Alcohol Research.

'You're a nihilist, eh? — well, at least you have something to believe in.'

School of hard knocks: Mail box 'Knock-knock jokes'

Caveman turning the wheel into a bar.

''Evening, Bob - the usual?'

"I decided to burn all my previous napkins and start fresh."

"It was very amicable—I gave her everything."

Hold The Pickles