Beer Philosopher Gifts

'As soon as I mention Nietzsche - stop serving me, okay.'

'The secret to life, my friend, is hoppiness!'

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

"So, Ben, what do you want to be when you stop sponging off your parents?"

Buy one beer, get one free. If I may paraphrase a famous quote, "Beer is proof that God has mixed feelings about us and wants us to be hungover."

I'm actually here as part of an ongoing quest to find the ideal form of analysis. Freudian didn't work, and Jungian didn't help, so I thought I'd try Pabstian.

You should really watch what you eat and drink, Al. When you've seen on bubble rise to the top of a beer mug, you've seen them all.

'Why did God create alcohohol?'

'Muriel told me that men are all alike - That's kind of reassuring, actually.'

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

"Have you noticed that as we get older it only takes a couple of pints before we start talking bollocks?'

"Hunting's okay, but by gathering grain, I can make beer!"

"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder."

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

Victoria's pre-marriage questionnaire continues...'Can I get input from the guys at the bar on this one?'

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

Beer Stall

'I trust these equations settle the argument, Professor Lang. It's your round.'

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

Men gossiping

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

Ask not for whom happy hour ends. It ends for thee.

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

"If it's a series of patterned clicks, I'm not here."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."