Booze Philosopher Gifts

"My one big fear is that I might get a jury of your peers."

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

We'll have Manhattans...

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

Shaken not stirred

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

'The secret to life, my friend, is hoppiness!'

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

Buy one beer, get one free. If I may paraphrase a famous quote, "Beer is proof that God has mixed feelings about us and wants us to be hungover."

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

Punch Drunk

"I was surprised myself, but living apart, seeing other people, and having virtually nothing to do with each other actually has made our marriage stronger."

'The first cocktail.'

Join me in a Caiprinha!

'I drank 10 pints of rum.'

In case of falling markets break glass.

'As soon as I mention Nietzsche - stop serving me, okay.'

Join me in a beer?

Beer/Wine/Spirits.

Australian Mobile Bar

'Remind me: are we on our way to the pub or coming home from the pub?'

Pat's Bar, Rotgut Tasting 5-7.

'. . .and now, Ladies an' Gennelmen, my next song - Thresh an 'ol Nill by the Shtream (hic!). . .'

'Who took the cork out of my lunch?'

'Listen, if they didn't have alcohol in heaven, it wouldn't be heaven!'

"I belong to that heroic little band of unemployed on whom a healthy economy depends."

Stag night high jinks.

"Don't worry about the economy, dear. We'll always live large."