Drinks With A Dash Of Philosophy Gifts

'Time? Time's relative.'

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

"You don't whisper anymore."

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

'The secret to life, my friend, is hoppiness!'

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

"I was surprised myself, but living apart, seeing other people, and having virtually nothing to do with each other actually has made our marriage stronger."

'The first cocktail.'

'As soon as I mention Nietzsche - stop serving me, okay.'

'Listen, if they didn't have alcohol in heaven, it wouldn't be heaven!'

Bar Therapy

Continental Drift.

Upside down question mark hanging from fishing line.

"So, Ben, what do you want to be when you stop sponging off your parents?"

'You're a nihilist, eh? — well, at least you have something to believe in.'

''Evening, Bob - the usual?'

...Five ways for the cities-towns to raise money...

"I'll have an entendre...make it a double."

"It was very amicable—I gave her everything."

'It's a shame that valuable water gets wasted to wash cars or to take showers. It should be used responsible and for useful purposes only - for example to make whiskey.'

"I can see the green shoots of recovery. The fag butts are getting longer."

Freud's Bar: Introspection Hour.

'Sometimes I see problems and solutions with such clarity, I feel I've been infused with all the wisdom of the ages... THAT'S when I know I've had too much to drink.'

Scariest Tactics

"I'm getting earthy overtones of guilt, with just a hint of sexual frustration."

"i'm trying to remember the type of California white wine but I like, but my mind keeps drawing a blanc."