Drinks With Flair Gifts

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"You got maybe one that smells like cheese blintzes frying?"

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

"It's going to be huge! Cheese-flavored vodka!"

"That's very offensive."

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

'I'm very impressed that you ordered the entire meal in French. Pity it's a Chinese restaurant...'

"Lumpy? Of course it's lumpy! Sweetbread soup is meant to be lumpy."

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

'Are you sure you don't have any Indian blood?.'

'My husband will order the wine. He happens to be a graduate of the 3-Second Master of Wine program.'

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'

"Now, what? I'm wearing a hair net."

"Do you have something for somebody with no palette, no taste and no money?"

'Are they fat free, low carb, high fibre and organic?'

'In case of emergency, break glass.'

"Take your time. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

"Excuse me but it's our food, can you make it sexy?"

'Monsieur, in this café you've got to dance your order.'

'You're cute when you blow your cool.'

"The butter-poached lobster with melted leeks and horseradish creme fraiche...you want that in a wrap?"

An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'

Beef Wellingtons

'Yes, all our flambe dishes come with injury, liability insurance.'

'When I grow up, I want to be just like you.'

'I wish you'd make those meatballs a little lighter; they hurt!'

"The last time we ordered take-out I was up all night doing laundry."

'It's a feisty little potato of Scottish origins, with a reddish complexion, whiskery appearance, waxy character and slight tendency to small mischief; spring-sown into well-drained soil on the south of the Island it has been hand-reared by. . .'

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'