Gourmet Breakfast Guru Gifts

French-America Cuisine: Corn Flake Flambe!

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Counting ribs

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"That's it. We’re toast."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

German Expressionist Breakfast

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

French wine

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

'Now here's a place I like!'

"Can you romance me after my tiramisu?"

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"I come here for the pepper."

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"