Breakfast Guru Gifts

'At least it pops up NOW.'

'The toaster is simply broken - I didn't enable a pop-up blocker.'

"Remember, never put all your eggs into one omelet."

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

Now that you have a heart, you really should switch to polyunsaturated oil.

'Coffee must wear you out. They're always sleepy when they drink it.'

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

"Larry, what's the weather forecast?" "Let me ask you something. Did you make waffles this morning? Because someone had maple syrup on their hands, and I seem to recall a hand moving me... a pretty, pretty, pretty sticky hand..."

Have you got your make up on yet?

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

WHACK!

"Carpe pizza"

Power breakfast.

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

It was then that Cervantes was inspired.

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

"First you make a roux."

'You go ahead and eat. I'm on a raw food diet and surfer isn't part of it.'

'School of nutrition - as of today: Butter, good...'

'Ah, Garbanzo, truly you are a noble bean.'

'Is this the new product?' - 'Yes, a rocket filled with cornflakes.'

A tureen of chefs

1% Cereal: Now with marshmallow dollar signs.

Paul Bocuse caricature

Overloaded on Junk Food.

Toast Pops Out of Piggy Bank.

'You seem grumpy ... have you heard about the benefits of bran in the morning?'

Bear eating Nutri-Honey.

F&E Diner. You asked for a hot breakfast, so I put some jalapenos on your corn flakes!

"You didn't say 'excellent choice' when I ordered! What did I do wrong?"

'We're starting a new diet today -- do you want your tofu scrambled or fried?'

Wife at breakfast: 'We're out of sugar - how about chocolate milk on your cereal?'

"Remember...the way to a person's heart is through their stomach!"