Food Guru Gifts

Nutritionists

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Domestic Superheroes!!

Counting ribs

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"Is the MSG local?"

"Can you romance me after my tiramisu?"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

French wine

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!