Food Guru T-Shirts

Nutritionists

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Domestic Superheroes!!

Counting ribs

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Is the MSG local?"

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Can you romance me after my tiramisu?"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

French wine

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

"Deep-dish pizza calls for deep-glass beer."

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

"It comes with a small Greek salad."