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French-America Cuisine: Corn Flake Flambe!

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Counting ribs

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"That's it. We’re toast."

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

German Expressionist Breakfast

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"I come here for the pepper."

French wine

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

"Can you romance me after my tiramisu?"

'Now here's a place I like!'

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"