Gourmet Style Guru T-Shirts

"I don't care if you're a food critic - you're not combing back in my restaurant wearing only a sash."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Domestic Superheroes!!

Counting ribs

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'She's so put together!'

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

A women in a shoeshop.

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

Keeping warm.

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Absolutely not!"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

French wine

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"