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"Honey, quick – the demi-glace is about to simmer – pass me a shot of Don Julio 1942 tequila!"

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Counting ribs

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Can you romance me after my tiramisu?"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

French wine

"I come here for the pepper."

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

Flying sauces.

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

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"Deep-dish pizza calls for deep-glass beer."

Cheese

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"