Gourmet Gadget Guru T-Shirts

Pizza-Matic

Pounding speeds up the computer.

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

Domestic Superheroes!!

The Computer Bore

Counting ribs

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

Evolution.

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'