Kitchen Gadget Guru T-Shirts

"I swear- the next one of you that beeps at me is gonna be sorry."

"No wonder it's not done. You've got it set on grow."

'I think it's some kind of old-fashioned microwave.'

Some especially annoying types of packaging.

"Wow! The big guy! And what kind of B.T.U.s am I looking at here?"

'Act now and you'll get this slicerdicer absolutely free! But wait, that's not all...'

Interrogating a foodie

'At least your arthritis didn't prevent you from opening that jar of pickles!'

'I don't know if artificial intelligence in a toaster is a good thing. It just seems to make toast whenever it feels like it.'

"No, I'm not disappointed exactly, but when you said we were going to the pot store..."

Hurricane season.

'You do realize that from now on every single oven in every kitchen in this country will have to be replaced?'

"Just who is our new interactive toaster interacting with?"

"I'm looking for a new dishwasher. I divorced the old one."

"Awesome! Dad fixed the toaster!"

"Please pass my compliments to the microwave."

"Life was a lot easier before the 'Internet of Things'."

Pocket Knife Food Processor

"Doctor. I am speechless"

"Hey, you two. Stay for dinner! We'll throw a pizza in the blender!"

"Here's our everything's included meal kit. How do they stuff a cook and dishwasher in there?"

"Hmm....how do I get the pepper into those silly little holes...?"

"I hate going to the grocery store, so I bought a refrigerator that holds enough food for a year."

Yard Sale: Like-New Kitchen Gadgets

"In my father's day this may have been a potato peeler but you're gonna be marketing it as a Spud Master X-17B."

Ice Maker. Ice maker offers different types of ice.

GMOs: The Next Generation

"I've learned a few tricks for dealing with my arthritis. One is to invest in a good jar opener."

F&E Subs. Hey, you replaced the little swords with periscope-shaped toothpicks! Nice touch, Ernie!

"Do you have one with magnets?"

'The pop-up toaster is playing up.'

'Which is it, spoon or fork? Talk or die spork!'

"I'm never going to get hot unless you plug me in you idiot!"

'It's ironic...I can't make toast. Yet, both of my parents were toasters!'

'Welcome to Margie's Microwave Cooking School! -- ZAP! Be sure to tune in at this same time tomorrow....'