Gourmet Connoisseur T-Shirts

Posh Deli - Fois gras, caviar, animal feed.

"Four said they'd had better, three said it was disgusting and the other one will be waiting for you in the car park!"

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Counting ribs

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"You're the lid to my pot."

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

"I come here for the pepper."

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

Full English Breakfast.

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

"Regular service or affected?"

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

this bordeaux speaks for itself

'Do I really have to remind you again about which one of us earns the truffles, Jean-Claude?'

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"