Gourmet Connoisseur T-Shirts

Posh Deli - Fois gras, caviar, animal feed.

"Four said they'd had better, three said it was disgusting and the other one will be waiting for you in the car park!"

Who do these people think they are? What people? They're complaining about our prices, service, the use of single-ply toilet paper in the restroom

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Counting ribs

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"You're the lid to my pot."

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"I come here for the pepper."

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

Full English Breakfast.

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"Regular service or affected?"

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

this bordeaux speaks for itself