Golf Ball Hoarder Gifts

'Whenever Ralph finds a golf ball he puts it in the basement.'

'Gee, you beat Roger again!'

Shoe addict.

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

"I brought my worn out shoes because I heard that confession was good for the sole!"

'Big advantage!!'

Baseballs Golf Balls Spitballs.

"Which one of these things is the soap?"

"Your room is exactly as you left it."

'I knew I should've used the fluorescent golf balls.'

'Y'know what? Maybe we should eliminate your backswing altogether.'

'Don't leave me, Mary! You know my whole world revolves around you!'

"You see, by using a bowling-ball, we practice our balance as well as doing weight-training..."

"The name's Bond. Duane Bond."

Fantasy Football Awards: 'The trophy to the Monday morning quarterback with the widest end zone...'

'As soon as the ball reaches the green, I swoop down and steal it: I just love the look on their faces!'

Toilet Roll Drop

'Dad didn't know where the grocery store was, so we dyed Easter golf balls.'

"Clear off! Can't you see I'm self-isolating?"

Wife's head is mounted on hunter's wall.

'Yes, Mr. Payton, I told everyone to bring a ball to class. But did I really need to go into specific detail?'

"Why am I Sales Person of the Year? I already have a buyer for this tacky trophy!"

A ball's best case scenario.

Football Time

"Of course I remembered your tennis ball collection."

"This is an intervention. We feel you have an addiction to buying bowling equipment."

'I think you've been spending too much time in the greenhouse.'

"I will not buy a fridge magnet. . ."

'I had possession of the ball more than any other player. . . Yeah, it's my ball.'

"I used the credit card that replaces lost merchandise."

Toilet Paper Inheritance

Discovering who steals all the pens in the office.