Golden Years Joker Pillows

"With all the widows living here, I don't think of it as retirement. . . more like I was put out to stud!"

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Get crazy once in a while

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

A Snowman falls down drunk outside a bar.

Batman's Baby

Well, she certainly is one of our more positive employees!

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

"It makes you look old."

'When Einstein wrote about time and relativity he must have been watching a football game where the last 30 seconds took two hours.'

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

'Cows have bells because their horns don't work.'

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

Snowman Driver

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

"You idiots … we lost!"

"He claims to be self aware but he clearly can't read a room."

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

Here lies BoBo the Clown

Toilet humour

Mr. Bubbles was beginning to regret sending his son off to clown college. 'Is that what they teach you, up at that fancy school of yours?!'

No infrastructure problem here

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

"Now go home and forget about your amnesia..."

Al, you look nonplussed. I just heard that they discovered a new astrological sign, and my birthday now falls under the sign of the jackass.

A clown & his clone.

"He must like you. He wants you to share his whoopie cushion."

'A room with double beds, please.'

"I'm so old I can't remember who's the smart one and who's the pretty one."

'Your Chef's Surprise, sir -- a sauteed whoopee cushion.'

'Lion!'

Shenanigans at the Leper Colony.

'They think I can walk on water.'