Golden Year Humorist Pillows

'You know you're getting old when your mail fills up with offers for hearing aids and mobility chairs.'

A drive in the park

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

Rude Snowpeople

I made snow angels in my good clothes and mom gave me the devil for it!

'It's easy, just wee!'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

'To prepare for Y2K, I backed up all discs and documents. . . stockpiled water and non-perishables. . . converted my investments to cash and set up a wood burning stove.'

"I look forward to growing dead with you."

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

"Aw, geez. My nuts are frozen." "T-T-Tell me about it."

"I told you we came back too early...I'm freezing my tail feathers off!"

"I got a chocolate bar and gum!" "What the #!@* is 'CBD oil'?!"

"It came... it grew... it made Nana say bad words... 'Ow! You rotten #@!!×!' The invasion of the thistle"

'Admit it, George-you're too old to chase after does.'

"If you are a Pulitzer-prize winner, press 1. All others, please press 2."

'Van Helsing, I've told you that just Holy Water isn't enough to kill count Snowcula! You need HOT Holy Water!'

"Who knew a lifeless box could spread such fear? It came from the mailbox."

It's a bit derivative.

Annuals, Perennials, Centennials, Millennials

Bad times for retirees.

'Okay, but for future reference; We never grit the ice in here.'

"His hip isn't getting any better. I really should have him put to sleep."

"I told you there's no 11th flooooor!"

"...Should nurses wages be forgot..."

The Itchy Back