Golden Ager Humorist Pillows

Senior Dating Site: Instagran.

"Why bother?"

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

Middle Age: When an 'All Nighter' means you didn't have to get up to pee!

"I'm not worrying. I've got most of my money in handbaskets."

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

"It turns out my milk is actually aging cream...so, I use it to remove all those ugly age spots."

'He's disappointed with the Queen's card - he wanted a rude one!'

"You boys who have to take your medications with food, now's the time."

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

"Damn if I didn't start walking in this direction for a reason..."

Home for Seniors.

"I'm trying to determine if the aches and pains are from an injury or just my new normal."

"I call him auction man - his hair is going, his teeth are going, his sex drive has gone."

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'

"Without a doubt... the first sixty!"

"Our health insurance premium doubled. Our age is now a pre-existing condition."

Listen, you're fine. Lots of people your age start fuhgeddabouding things.

"I never thought you'd live to be 90 either. By the way, you're only 67."

'Sex is good!'

"He's at that funny age. It takes twice as long to get over a good time, as to have it."

'He's in a male 60 panic mode.'

"How do you know my wish didn't come true."

"Good news, we found a plant the cured baldness."

Dad Socks / Dad Sex

"I'm starting to look old."

Old Darth Vader

'I don't eat organic foods. At my age I can use all the preservatives I can get.'

'I'm really looking forward to being put in a nursing home...'

Getting older is....Getting involved in one upmanship over ailments and medications.

"Face it, Dear, we're in a desperate battle with gravity...and it's winning!"

"It's father, doctor, he's creaking badly."

'To absent teeth.'