Golden Agers United Pillows

"I'm trying to determine if the aches and pains are from an injury or just my new normal."

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

'I'll grow old gracefully when I want to and not any sooner.'

Gerontologist on the phone - 'Oh, you know ... same old, same old ... and how are things with you?'

I'm Aging Gracefully...so SHUT UP!!!

"I'm not worrying. I've got most of my money in handbaskets."

"You're this age and never had surgery? Aren't you curious?"

Hospital: Senior Care/Long Term Care/Who Cares

'She's determined to grow old gracefully.'

"Why is there a picture of an old man in the bathroom?"

Pension Forecasts

'Sex is good!'

"I gotta stop, Ralph. . . one of my balls fell off!"

Golden Village: Lawn Mowing Races

'Al was competitive to the end!'

"You can grow old gracefully. I'm fighting it every inch of the way!"

"This says you're only 54. We need to cart you down to the rec center for questioning."

"I just made the perfect password...the first letter of all my prescription drugs."

Rest Home

"Grow old gracefully but don't be a jerk about it."

Life Begins at 40

"We better be nice to young people. After all, they donate to our soup kitchen."

"I'm liver spot spice."

"Well, finally! Gracefully aging no more."

Before and after pictures of Dorian Gray in cosmetic surgery.