Golden Ager Humorist Gifts

"Why bother?"

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

Middle Age: When an 'All Nighter' means you didn't have to get up to pee!

"I'm not worrying. I've got most of my money in handbaskets."

'He's disappointed with the Queen's card - he wanted a rude one!'

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

"You boys who have to take your medications with food, now's the time."

"Damn if I didn't start walking in this direction for a reason..."

"I call him auction man - his hair is going, his teeth are going, his sex drive has gone."

"I'm trying to determine if the aches and pains are from an injury or just my new normal."

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'

"Without a doubt... the first sixty!"

"I never thought you'd live to be 90 either. By the way, you're only 67."

'Sex is good!'

'He's in a male 60 panic mode.'

"I'm starting to look old."

Dad Socks / Dad Sex

"Good news, we found a plant the cured baldness."

Old Darth Vader

'I don't eat organic foods. At my age I can use all the preservatives I can get.'

'I'm really looking forward to being put in a nursing home...'

"Face it, Dear, we're in a desperate battle with gravity...and it's winning!"

'To absent teeth.'

"at my age I have to wonder if it's indigestion or a heart attack." (two old men discussing aging and medical concerns)

Getting older is....Getting involved in one upmanship over ailments and medications.

"It's father, doctor, he's creaking badly."