Golden Year Humorist Gifts

'You know you're getting old when your mail fills up with offers for hearing aids and mobility chairs.'

A drive in the park

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

Aging Support Group

Rude Snowpeople

'There, that should freak 'em out.'

I made snow angels in my good clothes and mom gave me the devil for it!

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

'It's easy, just wee!'

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

"I'll admit I've packed on a few extra pounds, but it's only water weight."

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

A diuretic! Are you sure about this?

"Aw, geez. My nuts are frozen." "T-T-Tell me about it."

"I look forward to growing dead with you."

'To prepare for Y2K, I backed up all discs and documents. . . stockpiled water and non-perishables. . . converted my investments to cash and set up a wood burning stove.'

"I told you we came back too early...I'm freezing my tail feathers off!"

"I got a chocolate bar and gum!" "What the #!@* is 'CBD oil'?!"

'Admit it, George-you're too old to chase after does.'

'Another botched Snotox injection...'

"Who knew a lifeless box could spread such fear? It came from the mailbox."

"If you are a Pulitzer-prize winner, press 1. All others, please press 2."

"It came... it grew... it made Nana say bad words... 'Ow! You rotten #@!!×!' The invasion of the thistle"

'Van Helsing, I've told you that just Holy Water isn't enough to kill count Snowcula! You need HOT Holy Water!'

It's a bit derivative.

Annuals, Perennials, Centennials, Millennials

Bad times for retirees.

'Okay, but for future reference; We never grit the ice in here.'

Melted But Not Forgotten

Church Parking Sign for Midnight Mass

Whoa, you've been working out.

The Itchy Back

"Relax kid, you're going to be for awhile."

"...Should nurses wages be forgot..."