Leap Year Birthday Humorist Pillows

"See? I was born on Feburary 29th, so I'm still a juvenile!"

"I'm here for the hair."

'ANYTHING to get down the ruddy boozer!'

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

Once Again Jeff Had Put Too Much Helium In The Party Balloons.

"This birthday qualified him to be tapped as a fossil fuel reserve."

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

'I wish I could look just like Elvis.'

"It's like every year my fear gets a little worse."

Big Birthday Boy Breakfast.

Happy Birthday!

'Oh, you nut! I thought we agreed we weren't going to make a big fuss over birthdays anymore.'

"...Should nurses wages be forgot..."

"All I got was a cake and a card."

"It's my birthday. How about a free drink?"

"He hit the big 60 today, and now he's just drooping around the house, convinced that he can hear his arteries hardening."

'Why can't he just blow out the candles like everyone else?'

Happy birthday to you!

Birthday Cakes for Dieters...

'Each candle represents a year of you remaining 35. . .'

"I hope that isn't crab cake."

Sixty

"Just because it's your birthday doesn't mean you can beam back down to earth for a cheeseburger!"

'I can't believe it - fifty years married and all I've ever been is Plan B!'

"I'm afraid the writing is on the wall..."

Dave wanted to make sure that he'd be able to blow out all the candles on his cake.

'Congratulations! He hasn't got MRSA.'

'The Ghost of Birthday Present couldn't make it. I'm the Ghost of No Birthday Present.'

"I'm serious, I've never had to buy a belated birthday card."

'I wish I was still wearing size 32 underwear.'

Nothing says HAPPY BIRTHDAY better than a cake that resembles your nose...

'Congratulations, it's a statistic.'

'Well, if you were on the verge of 100, I'd let you reach it.'

"Picture this: it's my birthday, my mistress comes towards me with a cake and then, she sets it alight! I was so scared I've been feral ever since!"

'The post is so unreliable - these days I have to slit birthday card envelopes myself so it looks like i put some money in.'