Birthday Humorists Pillows

'Well, if you were on the verge of 100, I'd let you reach it.'

'Is it just me or do birthdays seem to come round much quicker now?'

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

"I'm here for the hair."

'ANYTHING to get down the ruddy boozer!'

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

Once Again Jeff Had Put Too Much Helium In The Party Balloons.

A Real Pinata Surprise

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

Big Birthday Boy Breakfast.

Happy Birthday!

'Oh, you nut! I thought we agreed we weren't going to make a big fuss over birthdays anymore.'

"All I got was a cake and a card."

"It's my birthday. How about a free drink?"

"Oops, I just ate Diane's birthday card and signed 'Happy 30th, girl!' on a donut."

"He hit the big 60 today, and now he's just drooping around the house, convinced that he can hear his arteries hardening."

'Medical researchers discovered that the leading cause of death by aging is due to birthdays.'

Happy birthday to you!

'I can't believe it - fifty years married and all I've ever been is Plan B!'

Sixty

"I hope that isn't crab cake."

'Each candle represents a year of you remaining 35. . .'

"I'm serious, I've never had to buy a belated birthday card."

'Congratulations! He hasn't got MRSA.'

'Congratulations, it's a statistic.'

Nothing says HAPPY BIRTHDAY better than a cake that resembles your nose...