Golden Year Giggler Pillows

'My social life has really picked up lately, with all these health clinic visits.'

"Ready for your birthday present dear?" "Leave the diaper on! Leave the diaper on!"

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

Clown God

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

Magazines layout Christmas issues months in advance so a woe of cartoonists is struggling to draw Christmas gags in the July heat.

2pm meet your Creator

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

I am one with stupid.

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

"The cookies are always stale."

'Whoops!'

"Nigel, I thought the idea of us honeymooning in Aspen was we were going to learn to ski together."

Of course, then there was Lester, the brown-nosed reindeer.

"Well, you can tell that David Silva that I said you definitely don't have cooties, Carolyn."

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

When suddenly the clouds parted and down came Jeez, a god appalled by how his name is used in vain.

'They're evolving like mad -- You put in way too many cosmic rays!'

"The fact is Santa, if that's your real name. You were caught inside the house, with a sack full of valuables."

'This note from your teacher says you're doing great for a six year old. Doesn't she know you're fifteen?'

"This gown just ain't big enough for the both of us."

No Yule Turn.

'Honey... The old bag next door said I'm looking fat in white!'

'Bless you!'

"I think I'm picking up a 'holier than thou' vibe here."

"Fancy biting your gold medal just because a photographer told you to."

'Everytime there's a thaw, I lose a lot of weight.'

'Did we ever hit menopause?'

'I think the idea of an online dating service for seniors is fine. I just don't think we should name it, 'TimesRunningOut.com.''