Classic Joker Pillows

"He claims to be self aware but he clearly can't read a room."

'Lion!'

'Cows have bells because their horns don't work.'

"I studied ancient history while I was out sick. I read the magazines in my doctor's office."

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

'You know too much,'

Good News about winter

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Fish hunting for men.

'How about a game of cards?'

Candid Camera store.

Get crazy once in a while

'I love cutting trees in perfect circles because it drives aerial photography interpreters crazy.'

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

'My door is always open. That's why I installed a tripwire.'

Beware of Falling Notice.

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

'Look, Dad, I made a pair of boots out of your chest waders.'

'Mind taking off your scarf.'

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

Shoes Make The Man

"Okay, you scared the babysitter...now get back in there and rinse off that toothpaste, and go to bed!"

Caution May Contain Nuts.

While You Were Out: We Moved!

'Dearly beloved.....and the rest of you.....'

"It appears your anus transplant has rejected you..."

Sharks hate practical jokes.

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

"I keep having these funny moods, doctor."

Finally there is the right product for real men!"

'It's my spare tire. Why do you ask?'