Classic Joker Pillows

"He claims to be self aware but he clearly can't read a room."

'Lion!'

'Cows have bells because their horns don't work.'

"I studied ancient history while I was out sick. I read the magazines in my doctor's office."

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

'You know too much,'

Good News about winter

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Fish hunting for men.

'How about a game of cards?'

Get crazy once in a while

'I love cutting trees in perfect circles because it drives aerial photography interpreters crazy.'

Candid Camera store.

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

'My door is always open. That's why I installed a tripwire.'

Beware of Falling Notice.

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'Look, Dad, I made a pair of boots out of your chest waders.'

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

'Mind taking off your scarf.'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

Caution May Contain Nuts.

Shoes Make The Man

"Okay, you scared the babysitter...now get back in there and rinse off that toothpaste, and go to bed!"

While You Were Out: We Moved!

'Dearly beloved.....and the rest of you.....'

' I hit two good balls today - when I stepped on that rake.'

Finally there is the right product for real men!"

"I keep having these funny moods, doctor."

'It's my spare tire. Why do you ask?'

"Uh-oh. We better stop using the fax machine."

Never pick a fight with a comedian.